Xavier Improvs

Xavier is going to play a spider in the first grade play, Goin' Buggy. He was kind of proud of that at first, until he saw his costume -- evidently the spider's big abdomen makes him feel like he has a big behind.

Anyway, Adam was trying to take him through his lines today, but Xavier was distracted and kept playing around on the sofa, saying his lines into the sofa cushion, and playing with Bionicle toys. Adam was getting frustrated with him, and was trying to keep him on target.

Finally, Adam got to this point in the script:

Adam (as Miss Muffet):
Get Away! Get Away! Get away from my tuffet!
I don't want your friendship! Just keep it and stuff it!
Just looking at you makes me want to shriek!
The perfect word for you is
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

Xavier (as Spider):
Can anyone tell me what I did wrong?
Was I rude or pushy when I came along?

Adam (as ALL BUGS):
No! No! No! No!

Xavier was supposed to say, "Did I have a single word to say? Did I even hint for a taste of whey?" but instead ...

Xavier (as Spider, rapping to the tune of "Baby got Back"):
It's 'cause I have a big butt and I cannot lie
And you other little bugs can't deny
It's 'cause my butt's so big when I fall down
It cracks the ground all around ...

Adam was struggling so hard not to laugh, because he knew that would encourage Xavier when he was trying to rein him in, but he couldn't do it. (I should add that, as far as I know, Xavier has never heard Sir Mix-a-lot's "Baby Got Back" except for a couple lines from the post-production Dance Party on the movie Shrek. Of course, if you are completely unfamiliar with this song, then you might not find this as amusing.)

Ironically, Xav's been tagged for the Gifted and Talented program at his school, and we are supposed to find two projects that demonstrate his talent (no small feat when everything is in storage because your house is for sale, and you are not supposed to pick work done at school.) Somehow, though, although this shows creativity and pretty good, um, rapping (or rhyming) skills, I think this one is going to be kind of hard to turn in.