Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Your lips say, "No, no," but there is "Yes, yes," in your ... nose?

Yes, we are all still alive. Things have been a little crazy here, lately -- spring comes, and suddenly we have more chores to do. Anyway, we're here!

A warning to the weak of stomach -- the words "booger" and "snot" appear in this entry, quite a lot, really. Proceed with caution!

Still reading? Okay.

Today, after the kids and I dropped the babysitter off, I returned to work, and Xavier went to get a Kleenex. Now, if you know me, you know I live in constant dread of Xavier getting sick because of his asthma, and, if you know Xavier, you know he would rather have snot running down his chin than blow his nose. So, for him to grab a Kleenex -- unprompted by me -- set off a battalion of red flags.

"Xav, is your nose runny?" I asked.

"No," he replied. "I just have something in it."

"Is it a big booger?" I asked. Sometimes Xavier gets big dry boogers in his nose -- yes, because he hates to blow it -- and said boogers inhibit his ability to breathe through one nostril.

"No," he said.

"Here, let me take a look." Looking up his nose -- yes, this is something mothers sometimes have to do -- I could indeed see that there was an obstruction up there. "Yup, looks like a big booger," I said. "Let's go upstairs and see if we can get that out with a Q-Tip."

"I think it's a popcorn kernel," Xavier suggested as we started up the stairs.

I laughed. "A popcorn kernel? No. How on earth could you get a popcorn kernel up there?"

Xavier shrugged. "I don't know."

Then again, they did have popcorn for a snack ... surely Xavier's too old to ... "Xavier, did you STICK a popcorn kernel in your nose?"

Innocent eyes. "No."

All righty then. Reassured, I went to work with the Q-Tip, but unlike most boogers -- which either break up or stick to the Q-Tip -- this stubbornly held together and stayed in the back of his nose. I readjusted his position so I could see up his nose better, and what I saw was --

A popcorn kernel.

Now, a completely different approach is required for a popcorn kernel than for a booger. Luckily, after a diligent regimen of sealing the other side his nose while having him do aggressive blowing, then massaging his nose, we managed to pop the offending kernel out.

Trip to the ER averted, I said, "Now, Xavier. Did you stick a popcorn kernel in your nose?"

Innocent eyes. "No, I don't know how it got up there."

"Xavier, are you sure you didn't put that kernel in your nose?"

He dropped his gaze and whispered, "I'm afraid that you'll be mad at me ..."

Needless to say, I managed to extract a confession at last. And after a lengthy discussion about how you should never stick anything into any of the holes in your body (specifically ears and nose), I think he got the point.

All the same, I don't think I'll ever look at popcorn the same way again.


In other news, my friends Tania and Mike welcomed a new member of their family, Owen Michael, into the world yesterday. He weighed in at 7lb 7oz, and is 20 inches long. Mother and baby are doing fine.

Congratulations, guys, and good luck! I can't wait to hear stories about the things you end up finding in his nose!