Dancing in the Dark

Xavier is under the weather again, so I spent the night on Gwen and Xavier's floor again. It turned out that I probably didn't need to -- it was a pretty quiet night overall except for my pager.

Anyway, at one point in the middle of the night when I was awake, Gwen stirred and said loudly, "Are you ready to dance, Xav?"

After a second, Xavier gave a great groan, as if to say, "Not again!"

The funny part is that they were both asleep. I wonder if they were having the same dream.

Public Service Announcements

First off, Tylenol is recalling a bunch of their liquid Children's products. If you have liquid Children's Tylenol in your cupboard (all varieties, including Children's Tylenol + Cough, Children's Tylenol + Cold, Plain Old Vanilla Children's Tylenol, and many, many more) you should check out this website and make sure your Tylenol is not covered by this recall.

As I was checking our bottle of Children's Tylenol, Xavier wandered in. "Mom," he began, then spotting the bottle in my hand his face fell. "Oh, no! Is that for me?"

"Why? Do you feel sick?" I asked.

"No."

"Then it's probably not for you," I replied with a laugh. Six-year-old boys think everything is about them.


Eight-year-old girls, on the other hand, seem to be entrenched in a life of drama. As Gwen was getting her jammies on, she gave a great sigh.

"What's the matter, Gwen?"

"I had a bad day."

"Really?" I was surprised. Evidence would have indicated she'd had a good day -- it was warm, she got a good grade on her science pretest, and she clearly has her social studies test in the bag, if our study session is any indication. "What happened?"

"Well," she sighed. "I nearly passed the Shuttle Run in PE."

"You mean, you nearly failed it?"

"No, I nearly passed it."

"You failed it, then?"

"No," she said, exasperated. "I passed it, but just barely."

"Well, at least you passed it," I said. "Why did you have trouble with it?"

"Well, I fell down."

"Did you get hurt?"

"Yes."

"Bad enough to go to the nurse?"

Pause. "No, not that bad."

"Bad enough for a band-aid?"

Pause. "No."

"Well, okay, that doesn't sound so bad. What else went wrong?"

Gwen sighed again. "Well, I forgot my homework sheet because I didn't know we needed to bring it back in, so I had to share with Robert."

I said gently, "Well, it's your own fault for forgetting your homework."

"I didn't know I needed it!" she emphasized. "And I had to share with Robert!"

"What's wrong with Robert? Does he smell?"

"No, but I had to share with him!"

"Gwen." It was my turn to sigh. "Did anything else go wrong today?"

She thought about it. "No."

"You know, Gwen, that really doesn't sound like a very bad day. You weren't seriously hurt, you didn't get in trouble, your house didn't burn down, and you have food to eat. All in all, I think it was a pretty ordinary day, and it could even be a good day if you looked at it in a different way."

Gwen gave me a withering look that left me in no doubt as to what she thought of my intelligence, and wandered off rather than hear about how she could transform her day. Clearly I had missed the point entirely.

Meanwhile, I was left thinking, "Wow, if she thinks this was a bad day, she must lead a charmed life ... why, back when I was a kid --" And then I realized I had reached the point in my life when I was thinking nostalgically about the good old -- or maybe in this case, bad old -- days, and THAT was a depressing thought. Completely ruined my day.


But, if you need a pick-me-up, check this out Anti Depression Video. If this link does not work, go to YouTube and search for Anti Depression Video and choose the video with the woman and four babies. It only lasts a minute, and really will brighten your day.

Scout's Envy

Xavier's Cub Scout uniform came today, and he looks very handsome in it, but won't pose for pictures. Hopefully he will be able to go to Cub Scout's tomorrow, and then I can sneak a shot in.

I ordered his uniform online because I did not have time to go to Roanoke this past weekend. With his uniform we got the Tiger Cub's Handbook (I paid for that, it wasn't free :) and, of course, a Boy Scouts of America catalog (that I did not pay for.)

Xavier picked up the catalog, examined it briefly, then tossed it aside with disgust. "I don't know why they want me to order Boy's Life magazine, Mom," he said with disgust. "It's really boring."

I reassured him that he was looking at a catalog and that Boy's Life was definitely better than that.

Gwen, in the meantime, was reading the Tiger Cub's Handbook. Finally she put it aside with a sigh and said, "Why can't girls be boy scouts? It sounds like a lot of fun. Do you know, Xavier gets to make a scrapbook?" Yeah, nothing says macho like developing your scrapbooking skills.

I replied, "Well, I don't think they get to do everything in that book."

"All the same, it looks like fun. I wish I could be a boy scout."

"Well, you could always join the Girl Scouts," I suggested.

"Naah," she replied. "Too many girls."


This evening Xavier called me into the living room and asked me to help him put a balloon on his balloon pump. "I want to surprise Daddy!" he said with a smile. "I'm going to make a screechy noise with my balloon!"

Knowing Adam as I do, I said, "Aw, Xav, I wouldn't recommend that. He's really not in a very good mood today."

"Why is that?" Xavier asked.

Rather than answer -- because he had to take Xavier to the doctor today because Xav was hacking up a lung -- I kind of dodged the question. Instead, I said, "Do you know, when Daddy and I got married, he was the happy, easy-go-lucky member of the family?"

"No way!" Xavier scoffed as Gwen was walking in to see what Xav was doing.

"No way what?" she asked.

"Daddy used to be the light-hearted, happy one of the two of us," I answered.

Gwen made a skeptical face. "When was that?" she asked.

"Before we had kids," I replied with a smile to let them know I was joking.

I wasn't, really.

I'm not dead yet -- I'm getting better!

No, no one here is sick. Well, Xavier is (again) -- it looks like the "no sniffy nose/cough" rule at school is not being enforced like it should -- but in the grand scheme of things, it is not too bad a cough.

No, the other night when Xavier went to feed his fish, I stopped him because I noticed the fish looked strangely ... inactive. I shook the bowl a few times, but it continued to float at the bottom of the bowl.

Xavier started to tear up. "Is my fish dead?" he asked.

"I don't know," I replied. "I think so, but let's give him a few, see if he recovers." Really, what I was trying to do was get Xavier in bed so I could get rid of the fish discreetly. Still, Xavier continued to be tearful, red-eyed, sniffly, and coughy, and I tried to reassure him. Gwen, realizing that there might be a dead fish in the family also dissolved into tears.

"Mom," Xavier said at last. "If my fish is dead, can I get legos instead of a new fish?"

"Ummm, I guess so," I replied. "But he might not be dead yet."

"Can I get space police legos?"

"Uh, sure. If your fish is dead."

"Maybe Harry Potter legos would be better."

"Well you'll have to think about it," I said, as I turned out the light.

I went from the bedroom to the bathroom to dispose of the fish, and found him swimming slowly around the bowl. I'm not one to hasten someone to the great beyond, so I could not bring myself to "flush the fish." Instead, I went back to the kids' room.

"Xavier, your fish isn't dead," I said. "He's swimming around. He might be fine tomorrow."

"Maybe," he replied. "But he'll probably be dead."

I privately agreed, but did not say so. Not wanting the kids to start a school day with the spector of a dead fish, I went into their bathroom the next morning to dispose of the evidence, only to find the fish zipping around the bowl like he was at the Indy 500. I tossed some food in, which he ate voraciously, then breathed a silent sigh of relief that he seemed to be just fine.

When Xavier got up, I said, "Good news, son! The fish is alive and well!"

"Oh," Xavier responded disappointedly. Then, as if realizing that did not sound very good, he added with a little more enthusiasm, "Really?"


Xavier has joined the ranks of the cub scouts. When he announced he wanted to do this, I was surprised at the vehemence of Adam's response against it. He went on a tirade on how much he hated the scouts, and what a waste of time it was, what an ordeal it was, and how only a complete idiot would join the scouts. I was a little stunned in the onslaught of his negative response -- I mean it wasn't like Xavier was lobbying to join the local Satanist church or the Young Republicans.

Xavier, being relatively sharp despite what people think, put the kibosh on the topic, but when I was putting him to bed, he whispered to me, "But, Mom, I really wanted to join the scouts."

"I know, Xav. I'll take care of it."

Saying good night, I immediately went downstairs and said, "You know, Adam, we really ought to let him give the scouts a try."

Adam sighed. "I guess so ... I just wish he could learn from my mistakes."

That cracked me up, on two levels:
1. Xavier has a very different personality from Adam. I pointed this out to Adam, then added, "It may not be a mistake for him."

2. Gwen, on the other hand, has a very similar personality to mine, and despite my best efforts, she refuses to learn from my mistakes.

Anyway, I felt the first mistake coming on when I went to the scouting info session, and along with Xavier's sign up form, they handed me the popcorn fundraiser forms. So ... if you want to order Boy Scout popcorn from Xavier, shoot me an email. If you don't, well, I'm kind of resigned to join the popcorn assault team at Kroger later this month rather than seek out donations door-to-door anyway.

Religion a la Bakugan

Today was Labor Day, and I had to work, but I'm not complaining -- I still have a job.

Anyway, Adam did not have to work, so he stayed home with the kids. Gwen was rescued from the ennui of playing Legos with Xavier by a playdate, so Adam and Xavier spent some male-bonding time together.

Xavier was showing Adam his Bakugan, which are little magnetic balls that transform into "creatures" when they come in contact with metal (follow the link and you can see what I mean.) They are associated with some kind of card game, but Xavier doesn't care about that -- he just likes the Bakugans.

He told Adam that the blue one was his favorite, then added, "But THIS one is the most powerful. It has 720 Jesus, while that one only has 320 Jesus."

"What?" Adam asked, not sure if he was hearing Xavier correctly.

"720 Jesus, Dad. That's how powerful he is," Xavier repeated patiently.

"Where are the cards that go with these?" Adam asked. On perusing the cards, he saw that the unit of measure involved were called "G-force". So, Xavier's most powerful Bakugon has 720 "G-force," not "Jesus."

Clearly someone needs to work harder on his reading skills. Either that, or I need to take him to church more often.